Anxiousness

So today I have said good-bye to one more friend and I can't seem to sleep. It feels like I'm on the edge ready to plunge into the deep end and I don't know if I can swim or not. I'm so anxious about leaving and I'm afraid I might not make it out there...in that very big world. The suspense has gotten to me now. The day is coming but its not here yet and there isn't enough time in the world for me to be ready but the day can't come fast enough. The mixed feelings and stress I put on myself seems to be slowly wearing down my nerves. That's where the sleeplessness comes in... The nights get later and later and the mornings get earlier and earlier and a good nights sleep seems unattainable at the present time. This is the time when I believe I should let God take control, but it is very difficult and hard to do. I have the mind that I should do everything myself and I need to learn otherwise. I hope that is one of the things that changes while I am at Honor Academy, but I will never know until I go.
My family is supportive of me (though have some doubts about my mom) and it makes leaving just that much simpler (and it's a small amount indeed). I did a very large amount of shopping today and bought almost everything I might need, a few things remain but the are trivial and I can also just "steal" them from home. I can't wait until I leave but I also don't want to go. It's such a scary feeling, leaving home.